Monday, February 20, 2006

The Chronicles of Portlandia

A strange and uneasy calm has descended upon the land, for the Floggers of the Bog – led by a local crowd favorite named Jack – are in day two of a self-imposed Nice Week. Part breather, part penance, this has given the Wizard Potter and the Jedi Council an opportunity to do anything they want, yet so far they seem stunned into inaction. Meanwhile, the Dark Lords of the Forbidden Castle were singled out in the Chronicles of Bhatia for their wretched treatment of a young boy. Many have criticized those pages but was this not a good thing? To draw attention to a young man so hurt? Across the Kingdom of the Rose a cry went up. Why couldn’t the Forbidden Castle just make it right? They could announce that they have no legal obligation in this case but they would like to give the boy’s family two million in gold, because it is simply the right thing to do. They hurt him, they should pay.
And across the kingdom the grumbling grows: if they are not going to pay for their own mistakes, how dare they ask us for our gold to build their stupid tram?
Meanwhile, all eyes watch and wait, for the day when Jack and the Floggers of the Bog return to their ways. For on that day the voice of righteous indignation will once more echo throughout the Kingdom. The hour has been chosen: When next Saturday gives way to Sunday. And one thing is certain: When the clock strikes midnight, all hell will break loose upon the land.


At 7:20 PM, Blogger Jack Bog said...

Cue Arthur Brown: "I am the god of hellfire! And I bring you..."

Wayne Fontana, my a*s.



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