HOW TO BE A HAPPY AMERICAN: PART 2
One purpose of this series is to give you enough of a head’s up on a pressing topic, so that you won’t be embarrassed if someone delves into it at a cocktail party. It’s a complicated world and every now and then one of these more serious subjects drifts into polite conversation. Not knowing about it would be gauche. Even the ladies of Wisteria Lane are probably aware of this next term, although they’re way too busy and polite to discuess it.
The subject is depleted uranium. Here’s your response if someone mentions it: “Gosh, I hate those scientific terms. Can’t we talk about the new fat-absorbing pill instead?”
Whatever you do, and I mean this: Do not look into the effects of depleted uranium on people, especially our troops in Iraq, or from the first Gulf War. If you do, you will no longer be so pleased with yourself. You will no longer be able to brag about how much you support the troops. You won't be a happy American anymore.
I’m sorry. I hate to bring these things up, but it’s for your own good. Now quick, back to something we can handle: Did you hear the star of “My Name Is Earl" got the chicken pox? No, really!