Saying Goodbye To Rumsfeld: Cheney Gets In One Last Lie

When Dick Cheney got that earnest phony-macho look and pronounced Donald Rumsfeld the best Secretary of Defense America has ever had, it was historic. This was the last lie the men would share together in power, and it had everything. There was a sneaky element of course: The first Secretary of Defense was in 1947. Before that it was the Department of War. So Cheney gave the impression that his accolades covered the entirety of American History, when in fact there have only been 21 Secretaries of Defense in the last 60 years.

Of these, one of them was Dick Cheney himself. We can assume that if he didn't screw up his time in the position, it was only because Papa Bush wouldn't let him run amok, the way that Junior has. By the way, Bush 1 only picked Cheney after John Tower was rejected.

Another of the Secretaries was some clown named Donald Rumsfeld, in his first stint. You could argue that his performance this time wasn't even up to the lofty standards he set the first time around. After all he didn't leave us with the biggest mistake in American History, and I'm not just going back to 1947, the way that Cheney did.

So there were only 19 in play here, but let's not dwell on technicalities. Getting rid of Rumsfeld is worth a little good will. I should be magnanimous about this - it's a beautiful fact that the crusty old bastard is finally gone. I can just picture him fighting for the remote with his grandkids. He'll be sitting around the tree this Christmas fantasizing about detaining Santa Claus, and making him talk. "Tell me what you brought me, or I'll waterboard you."

Let's get past the acrimony and just look at the 19. Why don't we start at the beginning and see how long it takes to pick a superior American leader. You know - one that Rumsfeld was supposedly better than. How about the 3rd Secretary of Defense, George C. Marshall?

Here's a little bit of his bio. I'll link below to the rest:

"Marshall had extensive combat experience in Europe during World War I, and between 1919 and 1924 he was aide-de-camp to General John J. Pershing. After three years in China (1924-27), he served for the next dozen years at posts in the United States, beginning with more than four years as assistant commandant of the Infantry School at Fort Benning, Georgia, where many of the future Army leaders of World War II were on his faculty and staff. He became a brigadier general in 1936. In 1939 just as World War II began in Europe, President Roosevelt appointed Marshall Army chief of staff. In that position and as a member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff beginning in 1942, Marshall labored unceasingly to build up U.S. defenses and to prepare the Army for action. President Truman later described him as the "architect of victory" in World War II."

So summing up, you only get to the 3rd option out of 19 before you're sure that Rumsfeld was not the best Secretary of Defense we've ever had. Marshall only served for a year, but I'd wager he was better at his job than Rumsfeld ever dreamed of being.

It's all perfect in a sentimental way. When Cheney praised his old friend it was total bullshit - just another fraud perpetrated on the American People. It was a lie and totally bogus - unsupportable by the facts. It was also completely misleading, counting on the notion that the American Public would assume Cheney meant all of our history - not just since 1947. In short, this had everything. It was a perfect send-off by two of the biggest cretins who ever slithered onto the American Stage.
Histories of the Secretaries of Defense