Uh Oh! The Bush Administration Detains the Easter Bunny
It's been a special morning at the Crawford Ranch. The Secret Service put a set of rabbit ears on President Bush's bicycle so he could pretend he was the Easter Bunny. Then he went to a church service so he could pretend he was a Christian.
But next came the hard work of searching for the Easter Eggs and President Bush just wasn't into it. He pouted and threw a fit, "Why should I have to find these eggs? This is no fun." Dick Cheney offered to shoot the Easter Bunny with his shotgun.
"No", the Boy King cried, "we would still have to find them." President Bush was lazy, which is why he already had over 400 days sitting at the ranch behind him. "Hunting for eggs would be too much like work. I'll think up something," the C Student said with a smirk.
Hmm, what to do? Wait, the Decider had a plan. Anything to keep him there in repose on his can. "Arrest the Easter Bunny", he cried - the order was given. "We will torture it and force it to tell us where the eggs are hidden!"
Alberto Gonzales agreed that the idea was valid and good, so the Bunny's long ears were crammed into a hood: "We will find these eggs this rabbit has concealed!" Unfortunately for the cause of freedom and democracy, the Easter Bunny died before its secrets were revealed.
Suddenly the President began to rethink. For up from the wind there arose a big stink. Bush tried pedaling his bike faster and faster, but everywhere he turned there was a new disaster.
He tried to pedal onward, but it wasn't working - he just didn't have the legs. Nothing could get him away from these rotten eggs.
The stench filled his nostrils and spread through the land. Torturing the Easter Bunny was his idea, what would the People think when they heard his plan?
The People felt badly but President Bush went on bragging as if things were fine and our spirits shouldn't be lagging: "I am a great leader. Let's have a celebration! Happy Easter to all from the Bush Administration!"