Friday, March 17, 2006

St. Patrick's Day: Pass the Hat for the Rich

Everyone celebrates St. Patrick’s Day differently: For example, Barry Bonds dyes his steroids green. I like celebrating in the traditional way, with the Blessing of the Liver. Seriously, it is the Super Bowl for alcoholics so be careful out there. You can tell you’ve had too much to drink, when the Irish songs start sounding different from one another. Okay, there’s a couple of great ones, but some of the standard instrumental music is a little repetitive. Drop in a diminished 9th chord or something, anything. Please, I'm begging you.
Of course, you’re supposed to wear green, but after seeing “Failure to Launch”, I’d just be happy if Terry Bradshaw put on anything. My theory is the studios thought the producer said “Teri Hatcher”, but I could have gone an entire 10 million lifetimes without seeing Terry Bradshaw nude.
Last year at this time, I was sitting in a doctor’s office for a minor skin procedure. Naturally, I asked him for painkillers, saying, “I don’t want to be the only Irishman in the world in pain tonight.” He liked the joke, but declined my request.
A year later, Portland is immersed in a nasty battle over the Tram. The single most irritating thing about it is that the rich denizens of OHSU want more of our money, and they can’t believe we even have the nerve to question it. This is galling stuff, folks, even during the Bush administration.
In fact, it’s a lot like the national scene. They’ve been challenged on what they want to do, even though they misrepresented the true costs, and now they’re getting all huffy because we haven’t just rolled over. It exposes the truth about the United States and Portland in particular. The mass of voters out there are only in the equation to provide the revenue. They’re not supposed to come up with the plans, they’re certainly not the main ones benefiting from the plans, and if the plans turn out to be bad, they’re not supposed to raise anything about it but more revenue. It truly is outrageous and aggravating.
You can dress in green, you can drink green beer, but the only thing that really matters is the green dollar. So drink up, Portland. And after you tip your servers, and the musicians, you might want to pass the hat for OHSU. Some rich people up there want more of your money.


At 12:00 PM, Blogger Ruben Bailey said...

Speaking of tips, I am getting a little bit tired of EVERY counter service establishment placing tip jars at the register.

Is it really necessary to leave a tip for the guy who owns the lunch cart and is simply providing the service he is offering? How about the staff at Elephants who just ring up the items that I bring up to the counter?

I love to tip and have myself been on the other end of the service industry working for years at a local pub.

For the baristas who actually make a coffee (sometimes), and those who actually SERVE us food (definitely) but we need to leave a tip everytime we grab a Tribune for the delivery person?

At 12:28 PM, Blogger Bill McDonald said...

Sounds like you're more interested in horse racing tips.
(If that remark puzzles you check out the Ruben Bailey site. It's called Your Average Horseplayer.)

At 2:23 PM, Blogger Ruben Bailey said...

tips. plugs. slurs. insults. We love em all!!


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