An Easter Miracle I’d Like to See

“Today at 12 noon, I – George Walker Bush – will be resigning as the President of the United States. I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for my many mistakes in office. Chief among them: Using 9/11 to get us into an illegal and immoral war in Iraq for reasons that I knew weren’t true at the time. Second, using the war on terror to claim unlimited powers as I stripped Americans of their rights. And third, setting America on a disastrous financial course in which I took money from your children and grandchildren to give to my base: The richest 10% in the country. I will be withdrawing completely from the public eye, except for my testimony at Dick Cheney's upcoming trial. I am pledging to work the rest of my life to try and help many of the fine young Americans horribly wounded in what I now admit was an ill-conceived, unnecessary disaster in Iraq. Thank you, and farewell. Oh, and God Bless What's Left of America.”