Frustrated Prince Charles Ruins Queen's Birthday
Queen Elizabeth’s 80th birthday was badly marred today when a pouting Prince Charles announced he was leaving England and joining Hamas. “Such a silly boy. Wait till he has to get a proper job. He'll be back in a flash,” the Queen sniffed. “He hasn’t been the same since I caught him wanking off in the garden.” The Prince’s deep disappointment at not being King can be found in his statement about the Queen’s birthday: “It is hard to believe that my grandfather, King George VI, was the same age as I am now when he died and that my mother succeeded him when so young — the same age, in fact, as my sons are now,” he said.
He then added, “Oh, by the way, I think Johnny Rotten and the Sex Pistols are brilliant.” England remains stunned at this hour but celebrations for the Queen will continue as scheduled. One Londoner summed up the mood of the entire nation: "It's a bit of a bad patch, but we'll just have to press on."