The Portland Freelancer Becomes That Guy on the News

I didn't want to be that guy. You know the one. The guy who gets his snow tires put on on the day of the big storm. Or the guy on the news driving around looking for air conditioners on the first day of the big heat wave. I don't play that. I don't move with the procrastinating herd. I'm a maverick and by God, I go my own way when I damn well want to go. So let me tell you why I bought an air conditioner today. I walked into Fred's and there was a big pile of them. This one dude was already snatching one up, and I felt like the shopper in Moscow the day the Levis finally arrived. "I thought the whole city was out of those?", I asked the clerk. "We got a new supply last night." Suddenly, I decided to be that guy and spend the hottest day of the year so far installing an air conditioner. It would be a nice move for the wife and when you're a person like me, you have to do nice things just to break even. The installation was hellish, of course, featuring rebuilding the window frame into the right shape before I could even begin, but the new unit's up there right now, heading for 72 degrees and I can't wait for my wife to come home. Last week, upon returning from a gig at Pioneer Square, I accidentally swung some musical gear and took out one of her beloved plants shattering the colored pottery container on the front stairs. This is why I have to do nice things. I'm usually trying to catch up. In fact bringing in the air conditioner I gave the new replacement pottery a good slam and almost knocked that off. Oh well, I never said I was perfect. The part I do like is that I've been selling jokes about how hot it is, and I'm using the proceeds to buy an air conditioner and fight the heat. That works in a "Little House on the Prairie" way. Oh well, hope you're keeping cool. I can't wait for my wife to get home. This will be great.