Saturday, January 21, 2006


* So Bill, you mentioned trying to make it in the music business before turning to comedy writing. What went wrong with that? “Well, first of all, they put our drummer in prison. We were a good band when he was keeping time – not so good when he was doing time.”
* But what about the music itself? What about the songs? “Uh, I’d say my lyrics were a little different from the standard pop fare. Once, I wrote a whole tune comparing the recording of our music to the space program.”
* You’ve got to be kidding. Could you show us those lyrics? “Okay, but they’re weird. People said we were ahead of our place."
* Don't you mean ahead of your time? "No, there were so many words, we'd actually lose our place and get ahead of ourselves."
* I see. Okay, let's see the song lyrics:
In describing what we’re doing you can make an analogy from the annals of modern aviation history, all our projects only go the speed of sound but some take off – others crash back to the ground. In doing this I mean no disrespect to all the test pilots alive or dead, they’re the ones who put their lives on the line, if we have to bail out, all we do is push rewind.
Now that we are fully operational, it’s time to go out on another ride, now that we’re doing it right, it’s time to head out on another test flight. I was soaring like an X-15 the other day, the sky above was turning darker blue, and everything was so clear, I had reached the limits of the upper atmosphere. But I want to go out into space, I want to make my contribution to the human race. I’m still trying hard to get it right, on another test flight.
On another test flight, on another test flight, yeah, yeah yeah.
Going by this analogy we’re almost at the start of Project Mercury, after that if it’s all systems go, we might take it to the moon as in Apollo.
I know that we’ve made our share of big mistakes, I know that we’re running out of time, but I never gave up hope, I never stopped pushing back the envelope, and I’ve been doing it so long, and all I want to do is carry on, I’m still trying hard to get it right on another test flight, we’ve got to build another candle, and light it up, all I need to know is which way’s up, I’m still trying hard to get it right, on another test flight, on another test flight, on another test flight, yeah, yeah, yeah.”
Postscript: There’s actually a couple of lines missing, and that’s the good news. But I can honestly say this song never sounded so good. And I’ll let you guess what we were really lighting up. Oh well, we might have been polluted but those times were pure.


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