1. President Bush held a press conference, and I tell you the White
House is getting good. You can’t even see the little guy who gives
Bush a cracker when he says something right.
2. If you missed the conference, I’ll sum it up for you: I can do
anything I want because it’s legal and everything I do is going
3. President Bush says his eavesdropping program was designed
to protect civil liberties. Oh yeah? Who did they get to design it?
The guy who designed those levees down in New Orleans?
4. You can tell when President Bush’s press conferences are over.
Dick Cheney comes out and gives him a lollipop.
5. President Bush also said prosecutors were welcome to look at
his White House for signs of corruption. Oh sure. They fought
the 9/11 investigation. They fought the Katrina investigation,
but these prosecutors? Come on in.
6. President Bush has declared a war on pornography, so that
means we’re all soldiers just doing reconnaissance work.
7. Of course President Bush doesn’t quite have his facts straight.
He says we have to go to war on pornography because our
lap tops are being threatened by lap dances.
8. Things have really changed in Hollywood. Today a major
movie star held a press conference to deny he was straight.
9. Michael Jackson has been seen in Bahrein wearing the
traditional black robe that Arab women wear. So to his long
list of credits, we can now add Mid-East crossdresser.
10. In fact, the latest demand by the Insurgents is that the US
can stay in the Mid-East as long as we take Michael Jackson back.