The Aerial Tram: Fantastic

Since so much of what the City Council has done with the tram is rooted in fantasy, I thought it might be helpful if Portland underwent some name changes. You know, to play to our strengths. If fantasy is what this project is about, let’s do it right.
From now on the aerial tram should be called the Polar Express. That’s partly in honor of the December 1st scheduled opening, and the recent assessment that tram riders will be exposed to the elements.
With OHSU we have our mysterious lair on the mountain, but Pill Hill is too glib. I kind of like Forbidden Castle. Doctors are always telling us what we can’t keep doing, right?
We'll need a narrative of course. I think the Oregonian should be renamed “The Chronicles of Bhatia” in honor of Peter.
The commissioners have taken the worse beating on this thing. Let's give them the biggest fantasy-image makeover. How about referring to them from now on as the Jedi Council?
And of course, the Mayor should be known as Wizard Potter.
Let’s see….we’ll need a good fantasy movie name….hmm, the tram’s scheduled to begin running on December 1st….How about “The Nightmare Before Christmas”?