Bush and Saddam: Completely, 100% Different

Remember when we invaded Panama and took down Manuel Noriega? We accused him of stealing from his country and he made a rather interesting point. He said basically that he was the dictator and all he had to do was go down to the treasury and write a check if he wanted money. Under his system of government that was perfectly legal. I always suspected we were just bringing him in because he knew too much, but I thought about his point recently regarding the Saddam trial. Today they presented documents in which Saddam ordered the execution of 148 Iraqis. I can just imagine Saddam’s defense lawyers making a similar point as Noriega. Saddam was the dictator in charge of the country and that was legal under their system of government. Why? Because he said it was legal. That's why there is a paper trail; because it was official state business.
If a country invaded us and put President Bush on trial and presented the documents for the 152 executions Governor Bush signed off on in Texas, the Bush legal defense team would argue the same thing. That’s our system. The invading country might not believe in the death penalty, but so what? We do. They might argue that clearly this has gone too far. They might point out that President Bush now believes he has the right to kill American citizens within the borders of the United States. By the way, he does believe that - all he has to do is say that national security was at stake. Hey, I bet Saddam felt the same way when that village opened fire on his motorcade. If you're a dictator, you take stuff like that very seriously.
Look, I know Saddam did some horrendous stuff with chemical gas. This trial is like a parking ticket compared to his body of work, or should I say mass grave of work? But we are the ones pounding the country with depleted uranium. You want to talk about the rights of the unborn? Long after we're gone that uranium will be destroying kids, just as it's hurt our soldiers from the first Gulf War. Nuclear bombs spread radioactive waste but so do all these tons of shells we're firing off .
What about the invasion? What if some court charged Bush, claiming this was unprovoked aggression similar to Saddam’s invasion of Kuwait? Just because we have more might, does that make us more right?
Wait, there's a clear difference here. Hmm, let's see. I know! By George, I've got it! The difference between our guy and Saddam, is our American values. That's why this thing isn't the same.
In fact, given our American values, I am sort of insulted that you even brought this up. There should be absolutely no case at all for moral equivalency between Bush and Saddam. This shoudn't even be discussed. Remember, Bush is a godly man, and he believes his god is the real God. What? Saddam believes that too? And Saddam just said if his God is not the real one, then why did Iraq get the oil? Hmm. This isn't going to be as easy as I thought.
Okay, I admit President Bush killed tens of thousands of people, but under our system as he interprets it, he has the power and the right to do that. Of course, Saddam probably felt the same way. Okay, wait, I've got it: Saddam tortured people whereas…whoops, bad example.
Surely, someone can tell me that what President Bush did is 100% different from Saddam. Start with the torture stuff: Was this good torture over evil torture? I'm begging somebody to make this clear. We don't want to think of the President of the United States as a war criminal, do we?
I know. I've got one thing that I'm sure makes our guy different from Saddam: Appearance. Saddam looks really mean, while Bush is cuddly and cute when he orders people around. Of course, if you’re among those being tortured to death, it doesn’t really matter what the guy who ordered it looks like.