Lindsay Lohan: Honorary Boomer

It's not like Generation W invented the starlet who parties till dawn, arriving late on the set or calling in sick. Marilyn Monroe got there first. We just refined it and added all sorts of other substances that I hope to God Lindsay Lohan is not using. This is my history with the 20-year-old: I've written tons of jokes about her like "It's Tuesday but Lindsay's already onto her Wednesday problem." I had no clue about her acting abilities, or personal charms. I saw her as just another of the current generation's inexplicable stars - famous for being famous. Then I went to the Robert Altman film "Prairie Home Companion", and I am now in love with Lindsay Lohan. So much so that I even watched her Love Bug film co-starring a VW. Talk about a sign that your decision making process has been affected. Hers and mine. I also stayed up one night to watch her on Letterman. Lindsay is amazing. She's got actual talent plus a grin that is electrifying. However I'd recommend that you get a good look now because at the rate she's partying her sparkle could fade before she turns 21. It's such a shame but my generation can't pass judgement. Not only did we do the same thing but we raised her. So to Lindsay Lohan, who was just scolded in public for staying out till dawn partying, the Portland Freelancer regretfully bequeaths unto you the Boomescent Award and grants you the status of Honorary Boomer. Congratulations and please get help.