Boomers as Party Animals? The Best! As World Leaders? Not So Much

The Boomer Generation produced most of my friends, most of my heroes, and almost all of my fun. I do not apologize for taking part. The only regret I have is that I can't do it all over again. For a couple of decades, the mission seemed to be to party and have a good time, but there was another element that I want to emphasize. We also felt we were rebelling against the violent ways of all previous generations, and were in fact changing the world for the better. That is an indispensable part of understanding how truly glorious the times were. This was not sleazy or purely hedonistic. That would come later in the 80s. No, we were inspired. You can duplicate a lot of the transgressions that we partook of to this day. But what you can't recapture is the feeling that by partying, we were helping to save humanity. That took a very special set of circumstances. Yes, it was fun to be approached by beautiful women in their 20s who would take you back to their trippy apartments, and get high with you, and then have wild sex. I know that sounds like a really empty experience now that we're older and wiser, but it actually wasn't that bad. What really should be recorded more though - in the chance that future generations will try and brag about how much fun they are having - was the political component of it all. Not only would these 20-year-old women seem to love you because you were in a rock band, but they actually admired you for your political ideals. There will never be a time like that again. We know too much about drugs and sex, now. But back then they would love you like you were a hero. Imagine. We weren't just having fun for fun's sake. No! We were doing it for the cause of freedom. What a set-up. Just for strumming a guitar and partying, you'd be welcomed like you'd just stormed a beach to save their lives. And that is something I'd never trade for the bragging rights of the Greatest Generation or anyone else. We had a blast and it was awesome.
So do not take my criticism of the Boomers the wrong way. It is only now when we are in charge of the world that it seems to be working out less well. I see many phony people. Women out there pretending to be Donna Reed in "It's A Wonderful Life" who were closer to Lou Reed partying on the wild side. Maybe not that song, but I knew the Moms when they used to rock and roll. Think of the stories you won't be passing on to your kids. You know the ones. And these Boomer men pretending to be our statesmen. Please! You will never fully understand where Newt Gingrich is coming from until you picture him stoned out of his mind, eating a Twinkie, and standing next to a keg with a big stupid grin on his soft pudgy face. To hear him pontificate now about our future and whatnot is the comedy of the absurd. This is a Boomer Clown trying to be taken as a wise old visionary, and I'm not buying it. And guess what? The rest of the world isn't buying it either. You can't fool me, Newt. I was right there when you passed the joint to a new generation.
Ahh, these Bush-Clinton era politicians. What a farce. The "W" in Generation W is short for the "Worst", as embodied by the mediocre moron we've chosen from our ranks to lead the modern world now. But it could also be short for "Wasted". Talk about the stoned leading the stoned. In today's Generation W test, I want you to look at two famous musicians from different eras and tell me who was the drugged-out Boomer of the two and why. Wait, that's too hard. Just tell me why. Now styles change so this can be a subtle thing. Perhaps it's a hair out of place or some other unkempt touch that would seem to indicate a performer not fully in control of himself. Here's a hint - they both play piano. Okay, let's meet our first musician from another generation and no fair looking at the names till after the test is over.


Now we have a musician from the Boomers. Take as long as you like and see if you can detect any signs of excessive drug use.


Got it yet? Need more time? Oh look! It's Duke Ellington and Elton John.