Why Conservatives Deserve to Be Miserable

For most of my adult life, I've been lectured by Conservatives about how great they were at foreign policy, and how fiscally prudent they are. It was all about small government and national security. I'm sure you've heard it all before over and over and over again.
Of course, Ronald Reagan didn't follow the spending part, but Conservatives were quick to point out that he had a Democratic Congress. And of course, he made some horribly stupid foreign policy decisions like what happened in Beirut, but he had already passed into a religion. He could do no wrong.
If only things would line up again and Conservative Republicans could get another chance. If only. Then we'd finally see what great government looked like in this country. You remember all this, right?

Well, they got their chance. When George Bush took over, the Republicans controlled the House, the Senate, the White House, and the Supreme Court. This was their shining opportunity to back up decades of trash-talking. And what did they do? They proceeded to blow the whole thing right out their collective ass. Of course, recently the Congress swung Democratic again, but that's not even a factor. Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi have been in a head-long rush to out-Bush President Bush, and it's a sickening display. Not even Republicans can blame these last years on the Democrats. Oh, every now and then they still blame something on Bill Clinton, but they've been running the show for too long. This is on THEM. This is their economic disaster, this is their foreign policy disaster. So what do we hear from them now?
Now we have the Conservatives whining non-stop because they don't like their Republican Party nominee. If only they had a real Conservative running. Then we'd finally see what good government looked like.
They're even starting to swiftboat John McCain. I can hardly believe it, but stories are appearing downplaying what happened to him in Vietnam. Have you ever seen the footage of John McCain all busted up right after he was shot down? If these bastards try and rewrite his years as a prisoner in Vietnam they will reveal for all time, the moral bankruptcy of the Republican Party.
Better just to moan and complain, and they're doing plenty of that. It's actually quite amusing. Of course, it'd be a lot funnier if they hadn't put America on the brink, but I'm enjoying it as much as I can.
But you Conservatives should take a break on the same tired trash-talking again. You had your chance. It's petty even by your standards. And if you're wallowing that deep in your own bullshit fine, but the rest of us haven't forgotten. You had all the cards, all the planets were in alignment - you had every advantage a party in power could possibly ask for, and you blew it. You blew it badly.
Frankly, you deserve to be miserable.