Paging Evolution: Come In Please

You've probably read the stories of how we're turning the Pacific Ocean into the Ocean of Plastics. It's so bad already that I can only see one way out: A new bacteria must emerge that can eat the stuff. Not something we design - we would only screw that up - but something that arrives out of nowhere and starts eating plastic. Folks, we need some evolution here. There are little organisms that eat crude oil so how about it, Mother Nature? Can you save our ass on this, please?
It reminds me of the time I tried to talk a Bedouin out of tossing some plastic garbage into the sand in Arabia. He gestured out at the endless dunes as if to say, "How can we ever impact something as vast as this desert?" Well, the Pacific Ocean is much bigger and we trashed that. This is one reason I believe in global warming, by the way. It seems impossible that we could have impacted an entire planet, but it's clear from the garbage in the Pacific Ocean that we have.
If you live in Oregon, you've also heard about the annual cleanup by SOLV of our beaches. First of all, a giant "Right On!" to them for that. The stories always mention big items the crews find - an angle that was enhanced when the sea threw back some cannon this year. But are you aware of what's on the beaches in little pieces? This is stuff ground up by the waves or tiny to begin with. I don't see how you begin to clean it up. Here are the heartbreaking pictures below from Beverly Beach just south of Cape Foulweather.