The Chronicles of Portlandia

Much has happened in the Kingdom of the Rose. The Forbidden Castle on the hill, where many medical magicians toil away with good hearts and noble intentions, has been hammered by the peasants and the Floggers of the Bog. What has caused this distress? It's simple really. The Forbidden Hill is hard to get to and the Wicked Lords of the Castle have come up with a contraption called the Tram. Primitive in scope, and ridiculous in design this machine is. And oh, the many pieces of gold it has taken! Up till recently the Wizard Potter has been immune from the wrath, for the Jedi Council approved this folly under the reign of Vera. But as time under his watch grew longer, he realized he had a problem and demanded to see the Knight in charge. Was it Sten the Tooth? Was it Leonard the Quotable? No, who should come forth but Adams the Proud.
The Wizard spoke, “From this time forward you shall not be in charge of the Beast on the Hill.” For that is what the tram had become: A beast to be feared. Indeed, many who go near it face banishment from the Jedi Council for the Beast is even now demanding more gold.
Adams put on a brave face, for he had many supporters in the Kingdom, but none loved him so much as he loved himself.
And so the search for the missing gold continued with all eyes turned to Adams the Chastened for his opinion. Will the Kingdom of the Rose have to feed the Beast on the Hill a single additional piece of gold? Adams the Proud was also Adams the Savvy, and after pondering this question, he rose to speak: “The Beast on the Hill is on its own.” And a sigh of relief came over the Kingdom. Many peasants had long feared the Beast, and it was clear when Adams doth spoke, that the Beast’s days could be numbered.
But the joy in the land was short-lived. Word went out of another curse from the Forbidden Castle: The medical magicians on the hill were not liable for any mistakes they made. Oh, the Castle would pay a pittance, but the peasants would have to bear the brunt of any mistakes and pay for their new crushing expenses. How can this place arrogantly ask for more gold, and not take care of the ones they have hurt? If the missing gold can be located, shouldn’t it go to the peasants who have suffered unjustly in the Forbidden Castle? And this is where the story turns ugly, my friends, for the mood in the Kingdom has shifted from irritation to rage. And the Beast on the Hill quivers, awaiting its fate.