One Solution For the Schools: Cutting Entire Age Groups

The budget shortfall in schools has produced tragic results in our education system. Students don’t get music, the arts, or traditional sports. The whole thing is really pretty sad, but so are all the solutions I’ve heard. Packing 30 kindergarten students into one class? Are you insane?
Now the obvious remedy would be to lay off some students in each grade. Instead of a report card they’d get a pink slip informing them that we can no longer afford to educate them so they’re on their own. In fact, I’d recommend getting rid of the smarter students first because they’ll have more of a chance to make it without an education.
I know what you’re thinking: Sure, Bill, cutting the total number of students across the board would save some money, but it might not be enough because the number of teachers would barely go down. Okay, fine. You have a point. What the Portland Freelancer proposes then is the elimination of an entire class. Let’s say the current 7th graders. Just ask that group to clean out their lockers and go home.
If that’s not enough we could try an even-odd system. On a particular date all those who are an even age would continue in our school system. If you’re an odd age on the determining date, you would simply get out. We’d be changing our approach to the number of total students by eliminating every other grade. Sure, society would suffer somewhat, but we’d try to give the remaining kids a first class education to make up for it - not the diluted version they’re getting now. Of course, one concern would be that parents would try and fake their kid’s age on the day of reckoning, so we’d need a security force to make sure their birthdates are accurate. As before, cheating will not be tolerated.