The Worst Generation
I had a moment of moral clarity today and it was not pretty. I thought back to a defining time in my young life when I was attending a party on a patio in 6th grade. I looked around at my classmates and thought to myself, "We're going to be in real trouble when this group takes over." It wasn't that we were young and our parents were old. They just seemed like a different species. They were serious to the point of being morose and I wasn't wowed by their sense of humor. They talked about the Great Depression and the Great War and none of it sounded that great. They played bridge, drank way too much, and made puns. Frankly, I didn't get it. It wasn't till years later when I saw a Woody Allen movie that I even realized adults could be funny. But I knew they could be trusted to run the world. They were responsible like I never even thought of being. I knew at a young age that my group of wise-ass cut-ups had no business running anything. We could barely decorate a prom. It wouldn't matter what came our way - we were going to screw it up and then some. Everything was given to us so nothing was taken seriously. It was like we were the designated generation to have fun. Our systems were calibrated for it. While other generations plowed fields and built roadways, we hit the beach, got stoned, and rocked out. For many years it was a formula with no downside. Sure, some young lives were snuffed out by the excesses of drugs, but in general we got in a couple of the best decades ever experienced on this planet, before being forced by cruel circumstance into growing up. And that's when the trouble started. That's when the real-life grown-ups began dying off and the fake little fun-loving party boys and girls began playing pretend-adult. It was our turn to run the world.
Do you realize how immature this Clinton versus Bush argument sounds? We sound like a bunch of spoiled brats in the back of a station wagon, bickering. "Clinton sucks." "No, Bush sucks."
Meanwhile the truth is, WE suck. This generation sucks. You were loads of fun to party with but now that I've seen us in action, it's starting to be a horrible feeling. We go right on sniping at each other while the station wagon is heading off a cliff. We've taken the spoils that our parents sweated to give us, turned America into the richest most materialistic orgy in human history and now we're spending the money our children and grandchildren need for themselves. It's really been a shabby performance up till now, and I don't see any hope of a reversal. Clinton, with his sensory overload hound-dog routine splattering his sperm over the countryside.... Have a little class, for Christ sake. Hire hookers like JFK or bang starlets like Marilyn Monroe. But to go around humping everything you can get your immature, selfish, fun-loving hands on? That's so typical of my people. Then along comes George who prepared for the presidency by being a coke-sniffing, partying drunken fool. The only calling he heard was "Last Call" and the only moral high ground he was on was a barstool. The only noteworthy thing he ever accomplished on his own was to become the most immature 60-year-old man in human history. We've got a President whose #1 agenda is to ride his bicycle. Meanwhile, Clinton turned in some numbers that we'd die for now, but his example as the Human Penis turned off so many people, that it gave a bona fide moron a shot at driving the station wagon. Well, guess what happened? Everything got all screwed up. I knew it would be bad. I didn't know it would be this bad. I didn't know we'd be the Worst Generation - that our actions could cause the greatest country in history to collapse. That's one reason why our parents had that serious side. They saw it. They new what we were capable of down the road. You don't think poor George Sr. - the First President Bush - and Barbara don't say a silent prayer each and everytime their head hits the pillow: "Dear Lord, Please don't let the boy mess up again." Most of our parents are gone now. There's no one to take responsibility. We're in charge and America is slipping to her knees like a fat intern in the Oval Office.