Coffee and a Good Tag Line

I had a lively chat with these guys in my local coffee shop this morning, and it put things in clearer focus - along with the double Americano I was drinking. I mentioned that, for the first time ever, I had actual anxiety dreams about writing comedy last night. It's so ridiculous. I reacted by waking up early and banging out some jokes, and - no surprise - their comedic engine is rage. I admit this has worked in the past, but I'd prefer a world where creative, silly material seems appropriate. That is not the place we live in today: "It's the anniversary of Katrina and the sad part is to get President Bush interested in going back to New Orleans, the White House had to tell him it was Mardi Gras." Now, I rarely go with my prepared material at these talks, but I laid that one on them in a conversational flow, and not only didn't they laugh, but I could see they half-thought it was true. That's what is wrong with President Bush. This is the darkest comedy in history, and he's such a joke that it's hard to contrast his own ineptitude with real humor. See, it has to be fun on some level. Dan Quayle was gold because he was a benign form of lightweight. I know, I know. He looks a lot smarter now, compared to this clown, plus he was VP and it wasn't as grim. There was no way Bush's Dad was going to let Dan Quayle near anything - much less take a starring role like Cheney has. I mean just consider Cheney. The most amusing thing he's done from a professional comedy point of view was shoot someone in the face with a shotgun. Think about that as a visual. Oh well. The galling part of this is that if our leaders just governed and stopped trying to spin their way through life, these last few years could have been so constructive. That's what the Katrina anniversary also marks: The time Bush and his pathetic team tried to out-spin a Category 5 hurricane. We all got to see how little game they really have. Suddenly other parts of their program looked different, especially the War on Terror. That featured even more spin - whole wars full of spin. Wow, we have really lowered ourselves, and it is so stupid. Terrorists should be a gnat on the nations of the world and we're elevating them to the story of humanity. It's crazy. We are showing them way too much respect, and allowing them to change us way too severely. You realize, of course, that terrorism didn't start on 9/11? Why should that be the gigantic turning point, unless those in power are using it for their own sick agendas? Even then, it doesn't begin to explain our bizarre meltdown as a nation. President Bush and his team of screw-ups only really fit in some kind of End Times scenario. They act like it's their mission to bring the world down. They're rushing ass-backwards toward our possible demise, while they and their bewildered supporters brag about how terrific it's all going. As I finished my coffee and headed for the door, I opened my mouth to say something, hoping that a decent line would come out. That's the area that I sell. I just let my mind run free and write it down. I was carrying the Oregonian and I gestured to it and said, "This isn't a newspaper. It's a suicide note from Western Civilization." Time to write more comedy. I'm ready.