NEW CONGRESSIONAL REFORMS, (WINK,WINK)

“We, the Republican leadership in Congress - or at least what’s left of it - issue the following new rules for all members. Wait, rules is a little harsh – how about guidelines?
* From now on, if you’re playing golf in a foreign land, you can no longer tip your caddy with taxpayer money. That ends today.
* If you are meeting with a lobbyist, there should be no paper bags full of cash. All bribes should be paid with a check so we have accountability to the People.
* It would also help if some of you had your pockets sewn shut.
* You must now wait at least 10 days after collecting a bribe, before introducing favorable legislation for a lobbyist. No wait, make that 15 days, to stamp out even the appearance of impropriety.
* Never give your Rolls Royce or yacht a cute nickname. This has got to stop.
* We should immediately begin walking around in a pious state of grace, to convince the People that Congress is serious about reform.
* Finally, the second the 2006 elections are over, it’s ‘First one back to the trough!’”