Caught In A Web of Lies

Whoops! It looks like I have to clarify a position of my own. I don’t have to admit I was lying, or anything, but just refine the nuances in my answer, and then call for us all to put this matter behind us and move on. A few weeks ago, a commenter named Kari Chisholm had a question about my choice of material that I send my comedy clients: “So, here's what I want to know. Are you the guy who is responsible for the ongoing onslaught of "Bill Clinton's a Horny Dude!" jokes from Leno - six years after the end of the Clinton presidency?
Or, are you the guy who's bravely slogging on, trying to send Leno non-Clinton jokes while his producers seem fixated on the ex-president's libido?”
Hmm, it was pretty obvious what the correct answer was here. I responded graciously that, “No, I don’t send Clinton jokes anymore. These days I’m mainly trying to do good and save the world. Of course, while he was in office, I cashed in. After all, his administration has been called the Golden Age of Comedy. Wait, during one of Dick Cheney’s heart episodes, I sold one. I said the heart problems made me appreciate Bill Clinton more. His only problem was an organ that worked too well.”
Another reader – my sister – has noted that on February 24th and March 3rd, I included a joke about President Clinton on my lists of jokes I’d recently written. This would appear to make my previous statement inoperative.
First, let me say, that nobody could have imagined that anyone would pay this much attention to my blog. Clearly, my sister has a memory for detail that can be big trouble.
Second, I would like to point out that while these jokes were submitted, neither one sold, making me technically not in violation of this policy.
Oh, why bother? At some point the lying has got to stop. Yes, I still send an occasional Bill Clinton joke. When I said, “These days I’m mainly trying to do good and save the world”, I was kidding.
Besides, Bill Clinton continues to generate new topics. He’s looking for 25 interns for his library. I would be letting down our way of life if I didn’t respond. Mainly though, Bill Clinton is still in play because Hillary is big right now. Not as big as Monica...damn it, that wasn't helpful.
So my new clarified nuanced position is that when I said I no longer send Clinton jokes in, I meant I sometimes send Clinton jokes in. Clinton’s sex drive is now a permanent part of the American comedy landscape along with Cheney shooting off his gun at his friend.
I could apologize for my apparent lie, but if I did that, it would give comfort to the enemies of freedom. Frankly, true patriotic Americans like myself can’t afford to show that kind of weakness right now, which is why I’m reporting my sister to Homeland Security.